Beauty speak, Beauty invites, Beauty nourishes, Beauty conforts, Beauty inspires, Beauty is transcendent.

So I am working everyday in restoring the beauty of my soul, but this does not come easy. Everyday I learn more ways to handle the stress of life. But sometimes people are the ones that make things hard. I have some people in my life that try and make things as hard as they can for me, try and upset me, and want to fight with me over everything. Some people are filled with so much anger and hurt they must hurt others to feel better about them selves. Before I started to hate them. Hate their actions towards me. I fought back and found myself playing the same games. Friends got tired of hearing me complain. This was not making me beautiful or captivating. This was filling me with anger, restlessness, and bitterness. Their is nothing beautiful in upset moody hateful woman. That is what they call a Bitch! lol So I have been working so hard on not allowing people to upset me as much. Doing much better with not arguing back, picking my battles with what’s really important. Trying to show love. And by no means am I saying being a doormat, but I'm learning it is so much easier to be a bitch. To have to be right. To argue about everything cause for some reason we think that says we are strong and stand our grounds, but it is lies. We are lying to our hearts and really just looking like a hot mess bitch. Think about it.... Say a woman needs some kind of work done, but treats everyone with being crabby, complaining, yelling and throwing a grown woman fit about everything. When it is done no one says... wow she is an amazing woman and I thing I learned something from her. No they say Glad I am done working with that bitch. Is this what we want to leave on peoples lives? But a woman that conducts herself with strength but also with love, that can be productive but caring are woman that earn respect. Respect not from fear or hate, but respect from showing true strength. I am finding that letting it go, not texting back to an upsetting text (maybe having to put my phone down or off, deep breaths and praying on how I want to really respond) letting others believe what they want and not worrying about stupid little things. Trying to be more understanding of others and showing love in many ways. Turning the other cheek takes a lot more strength. Then when it is really important, I am able to handle the problem in a much calmer matter. And this has brought me more peace and I am happier. In a prefect world (like our moms taught us, being kind to others that hurt us blah blah) this would make everything better. Wrong! Sometimes people still want to do anything they can to hurt you. Maybe because they are hurting or just going through a hard time them selves. But it seems like they pick times when I am already going through a lot (they enjoy the kick while down attack) “like being pregnant, no help, on bedrest to keep my baby alive and healthy" and BOOM! How do I keep this up with out bitterness filling my heart? How do I be beautiful and captivating through this? This was my prayer this morning. But I do believe a warrior can also be graceful, and loving while battling for her family. I believe I can be strong with out being a bitch. I stand on my grounds on what is best for my family, keep my baby safe. Take every step needed to make sure I'm in the right with the law and in Gods eyes in doing what is best for my family. And I will not argue or turn blame or spit hate. I will deal with what I have to. I find myself praying for them because I feel so much hate and anger in them; their words shoot venom at me. I am often the target of their anger, but no longer will let it tear me down. Until they find the peace and love their hearts are searching for this will continue. And what I use to hate I no longer. I feel sorry for them. Times are about to get even harder for my kids and I at the hands of others, but God will bring us through this and I will find more love and forgiveness. This I believe is learning more about true strength. Love is powerful. I can't control others or the things they try and do, but I can control my own actions. I stand for what is right, not fight for what I think should be my way. I like what Harry Potter says to Lord Voldemort as he is trying to take over Harry..... You're the weak one.... and you'll never know love or friendship, and I feel sorry for you.... This was a point when Harry refused to allow hate to become in him and make him like Voldemort, because love is always stronger. So as I go through this season in life, I want to be seen s a beautiful soul, covered in captivating armor with beauty that speaks, that invites, that nourishes, that comforts, that inspires, Beauty that shines. Love that is strong.